He Is Mine

God spoke to me very clearly the other day but I had trouble hearing Him due to my human nature.

I woke up and I was uncomfortable. I thought I had to go to the washroom or maybe just needed to relax. I tried these things and it didnt help. Pain started shortly after. An intense pain, similar to contractions except it wasn't an ending pain. It didnt just come and go. It just stayed and hurt.

Dave was home and I was thankful for it because I spent the morning in bed. I was whining occassionally out of panic but mostly I was in my head.

"If this baby is born today, I will lose him"

"I cant give birth today, it isnt time!"

"Levi, keep moving, uterous, stop hurting"

I didnt want to go to the hospital. I didnt want to move. I just wanted to be ok.

I prayed for God to take away the pain but it just wasnt happening. I was in tears, feeling desperate to find the solution to my pain.

It hit me then and there. God wants my son. I am about to lose my son but he isnt mine. He is Gods precious gift and if He wants Levi, now is his time to come. So I did something really hard. I told God to take Levi. I prayed that Gods will be done and I told God that Levi was His and only entrusted to me. I was calm. Sad, but calm. I understood God was sovereign and that He would help me through whatever would happen.

The moment my prayer was finished the pain vanished. Levi was still moving around but there was no pain.

I thanked God for sparing Levi and myself. God had spoken to me.

"Levi is my child. Entrust his life to me."

It wasnt easy but only peace followed afterward. May I always remember that everything I have is God's and that I have only been entrusted with it for a time.