Adjusting

Getting used to having two sons instead of just one was a really hard adjustment for me. I am sure you all know that already from the many discouraged posts I wrote. Thankfully, however, the chaos of it all does calm down.

Levi is now two and a half months and I feel like I have a routine. When I am at home I feel as though I can handle it all. Some days are easier than others but at home it always works out ok.

Going out? That's another story. I do it and have success but it doesnt normally work as well as it used to. Matty used to sleep in his carseat and was always happy to be out. Levi prefers to be held and doesnt stay asleep long if he isnt on his tummy in his bed. I have managed to get groceries done with only a few dirty looks (Why is her baby making so much noise?) and have even gone to a coffee shop. I will never do that again. I did it once...unless Matthew is tied to a chair and Levi is asleep... what chaos! Three different times Matthew pulled down cups and coffee bags from the display and twice he ran into the kitchen that is off limits for people who dont work there. I think the staff were thrilled to see us leave.

Leaving the house used to be a type of sanctuary for me. If Matty was cranky I knew we could go for a walk in the stroller or go shopping or something and all would be peaceful. Now, if it is a rough day, it stays that way because leaving the house only makes one of them unhappy and the other impossible to manage.

I may be complaining a bit but really, all of this is a good thing. Soon enough I will live out in the country where it will be harder for me to just get out all the time. I will have a bigger area to manage and likely two handfuls to keep my eyes on. I never used to concider myself a homebody but I think that having more than one child is working on me. Teaching me to be content in the home and to find things to do that dont require packing up a million and one things before I get in the car to go anywhere. I never thought I would say this, but I almost dread going anywhere with the two boys. Just give me one and I am sure I can manage. But both?

Life has come back to a place of equilibrium for me. I am loving having two boys. I love figuring out how to care for them well and how to make time for each of them. And I am really excited that I see myself getting into the habbit of getting things done when I have the time thus having less to do in one big clean. A while ago I found myself in a place of dispare, truely believing that I wasnt able to cope. Its amazing that in such a short time I have turned a complete 180 and now find the world a much brighter place with many enjoyable things for me to do with my little family of men.

I do have to say one huge thank you to Monkeywear.
This product saves my life many times over. Its a long piece of fabric that you wrap in certain ways and you can carry your baby with you. No hands needed. Levi will fall asleep in it and will watch the world pass by when he's awake in complete silence. When he wakes up screaming in the grocery store because he hates his carseat, I take him out, plop him in the wrap and within a few minutes he is happy again. CLose to me and either sleeping or able to look around.