Being Home

Its always been a bit of a struggle for me to be at home. By that I mean, I love to get out and about. I like to go visiting and waste my days doing anything but spending time in my home. It would explain why so often my house is not looking the greatest and why our toys remain interesting to Matty.

This past week, however, we have been home on purpose. Both boys were struggling to stay in routine. They weren't napping regularily and they were growing more and more grumpy. I finally realized that I needed to work on helping them.

I stopped visiting others everyday and instead we have stayed home and played and just lived. Amazing the things I've accomplished.

The other day I moved all the appliances and and cleaned under them (Ive lived here for almost 4 years and never once done this). I organized and rearranged Matty's room. He can no longer pull open the dresser drawers and throw all of his clothes all over the place from his crib. I removed all the clothes that no longer fit him and now his drawers close quite easily. I vacuumed our bedroom (it takes forever to do this due to sleeping times and mess all over the room) and hung and folded and put away several loads of laundry. Ive cleaned up the living room two times everyday (it seems pointless but it makes those few hours so much more enjoyable) and Ive kept on top of the dishes.

With all of this, I have still managed to a have a bit of time for me. I sit down after my accomplishments and have a drink and read or watch Gilmore Girls (my guilty pleasure these days) and I have found that after finishing so many things, this little break is so much more enjoyable.

Now, I still feel unrest and want out of my house. This week I have wanted to escape everyday but one. However, circumstances have made it impossible to leave. And it's good. Do you ever have those morning where you just wake up thinking you are not going to be able to make it through the day without someone elses help? I had one of those on Tuesday and I couldnt find anyone to come over. So I braced myself and started my day. Both boys were fantastic the whole day through. I was so pleasantly surprised.

Im learning in small doses how to be home alone with my children. I am so quick to want to find distractions for them so I have less work to do (its sounds so selfish but true) and there is nothing wrong with it but I think our life was a little bit too distracted.

Home has been good for us and I look forward to when home is also in a place that I find beautiful.