Sunday, May 8, 2016

Making it Different

No one warned me. No one gave me the slightest hint. When you lose your mother, the glue of the family, you dont just lose her. You lose everything that ever used to be normal.

All our traditions.

All our celebrations.

All our previous joys.


Right now it is all about doing things differently. Trying not to remember. Trying not to be brought to a place of absolute despair.

Today, while everyone remembered their mothers, I could only remember the loss of mine.

While people had memories to share, I tried to close all mine away.

Too precious.

Too hard.

In years past, Mothers Day was stressful. We wanted to make it perfect for a woman who deserved the world and could only really have a BBQ! What I wouldn't give to have a stressful Mothers Day again, in honor of Her.

Maybe one day planning events wont be about how different we can make them in hopes of healing our hearts. For now, its how we survive one day to the next.

A mother is a great blessing. I pray I can be one just like mine!