Pictures (recent and not so recent)

It has been a while since I have posted pictures of family so here is a mostly photo entry for you (truth be told, I havent been taking pictures lately).

Monday was Family Day so the Millar family spent the evening together eating and celebrating Winterlude. We walked down the canal to the sculptures only to find out that they werent letting people in to see them. Who does that on a holiday evening during a festival? It was only 7:00pm! The walk was still gorgious and I snapped a few pictures.

Here is Aidan carrying Isaiah on his back and pulling the other three kids in a sleigh behind him.

Caelah was having fun being silly. She walked most of the way though (fortunately for Aidan)

Here's Dave with Matty. Can you tell it's Matty? He hates the wind in his face so we covered him up very well.

Our two little starfish. They lay like this for about a minute before they even realized the other one was there. They really couldnt move. (Matty in blue, Isaiah in yellow)

The next day, Ness and I went out to run some errands and afterwards we had two very tired boys. Both fast asleep and dreaming of... who kows what.

Here are some older pictures of Matty playing or discovering.

"Daddy, do you really have to make me look so silly?"

"So this is what TOYS are for."

Matthew finally discovered his toes. For days he just pu ttoys down and went for the feet. There was one day where his pants were too constraining and he couldnt get his toes no matter how hard he tried. It was cute.

Matty and Henry fighting over toys. Matty had the egg beater then Henry grabbed it and I think Matty stole it back a little while longer. Cousins being cousins.

Allergic To Wet

Right now Dave, Matty and I are suppose to be down in Georgia for the week visiting family. We even left on Thursday at 10:30 am to get to our first stop early and spend some time with Dave's sister and family. We should have arrived at 3:30 pm. Instead we rolled in at 11:00pm.

We made it about an hour and a half into our trip when all of a sudden, the car started to bump and thump and stop. Dave worked some of his magic to get the car to keep going but it only lasted a short while. We chugged and puffed for a while until we could get off the highway and into a garage. They were too busy to take a good look at the car but agreed to look at it breifly. After testing some of the plugs in the engine, they determined that two of them werent working and would need to be replaced. Dave tried explaining an electric problem but they were certain it was the plugs, so we headed to the Canadian Tire to buy some new plugs. We replaced them and were on our way again (this took about an hour and a half). We drove a little while longer and our car acted up again. This time we were near Napanee. So, we worked the car to the exit and came to a GM dealership. We figured they might have a diagnostic test for the Golf and if not, they might see the problem. In we went and were told we would have wait ahead of us. They were right! We were there for at least three hours waiting for some results. They couldnt do the test since our car isnt one of their makes and they werent sure what the problem was but they thought it might be the ignition coil. We had to wait for one to be delivered from a neighbouring town. Once it arrived, they replaced it, tested it and found that the car still acted up. So, we were charged $300 for the work and they told us they had knocked off a bunch of the expenses. We decided we should at least try to get to Chris and Melissa's to rest and decide what to do next so we braved the car once more. Believe it or not, we made it the rest of the way with no hassle. We were so surprised. Was the car really better???

Initially we were going to leave on Friday morning for Georgia but because of our late night and crazy day, we decided to spend the day with Melissa and Chris. We went into St. Catherines and went to the book depot and tried to get a part for the car that we thought could help the mysterious issue but they didnt have one. It as a very nice day and the car seemed to be cured. So, at 3:00 am on Valentines day we set out for Georgia hopeful to get through the boarder and have no more troubles. We made it so close to the border (after 2 hours of driving) when the car died again. I guess it wasnt the ignition coil. $300 for nothing. We turned around and went as far as we could, taking rests where the car died to let it sit until we made it to London. In London we attempted to find a garage but nothing was open. So, we just tried to get home. Guess what? We made it home without an issue. Apparently as we headed South, the car got angry and said "umm, no, I want to go home!" and we broke down.

Matty was so fantastic. We were traveling for 26 hours total and Matthew didnt make an unhappy peep until we were about 30 minutes away from home. And even then, it was barely a whine.

We also realized that every time we broke down it was wet outside. It was pouring rain on Thursday and when the car got too wet, it broke down. Once we were finished in Napanee, the weather had changed and it was dry. near the boarder it had started to snow and the car got wet and once we got to London, it was sunny and dry and everything had dried up in the car.

So, we had a very unsuccessful attempt at a vacation and found out that our car is allergic to the wet. Should be interesting in the next couple of days since it is calling for snow. I might be stuck at home for the rest of the week. Better than in the car I must admit.

Struggles

The desire of my heart for as long as I can remember has been to become a wife and mother. I am both of these and I praise the Lord for that. Unfortunately, the past few weeks I have felt that I would much rather just be a wife. Don't get me wrong. I love Matty and believe him to be the most adorable baby that has ever been born (the right of every mother to believe) but nights of no sleep, days filled with fussing and unhappiness has only lead me to wanting to have my days back to get things done and my nights back to sleep ( can anyone say 'selfish'?). Im up at 3 and 4 and 5 and then decide by 6 that it is just time to get up and start the day. I drudge through all of my tasks in a fog, as though there is some film over my life that just isnt letting me see everything the way it is. I want to curl up and sleep, I want to cry, I want to play with my fussy child to make him happy but can't find the energy.

I love Matty and would never trade my situation for the world. I'm just stuck in a rut. It feels like a deep one. Will he ever sleep through the night, will this fussy faze that can only be remedied by being held or being on the breast ever stop? Do I even have enough milk for this child? Maybe he is hungry and me feeding him every hour like he seems to want isnt actually feeding him at all. He can't use a bottle, he wont take a soother, we introduced cereal to him and it seemed to cause him pain and irritation. There really isn't anything else to do but to persevere.

Ha, Im sitting here with Matty on my lap and he is sucking on the table. He brings me so mcuh joy as well as these momentary difficulties. For the time being, I guess I sleep while he sleeps and wake when he wakes. Feed him as often as I can since he will ALWAYS take it and hope this stage ends soon.

I feel guilty feeling this way. My situation is really wonderful. Two fantastic men to love and who love me. The ability to stay home and be a mom rather than a 'working woman'...I'm blessed beyond anything I could imagine.

Lets Get It!

There is so much out there for children that almost everywhere you go you can be tempted to buy one more thing which is really unneccessary. I know that I am tempted often with cute little shoes (my weekness for sure) or an adorable outfit. For Dave, it was this:
We were in a store looking for parts for Dave to build a ride on car for Matty and we came across the last one in the entire store. And, it was on sale. So we talked about it and it went like this:

Dave: we should get it for Matty for Christmas.
Kate: How about we just put it away and give it to him on his first birthday. (keep in mind this tractor is for the ages of 2-6 and matty is 3 1/2 months)
Dave: well, if we got it, we would have to give it to him tonight. (5 days before Christmas) I dont want it sitting around in a box.
Kate: It wont get hurt in the box. We can leave it in the basement and it wont be in the way.
Dave: No, we can just get it another time.
Kate: Are you sure? The sale is really good.
Dave: no, if we cant have it now, we can wait.
(we then walk to the front of the store resume talking)
Dave: How about you get it for me and it can be my Christmas present?
Kate: I already got you something I know you would like.
Dave: I want to build it now and the kids can play with it until Matty is old enough.
(the conversation continues like this-get it, no dont get it, get it... until finally)
Kate: Ok, lets do it. The other kids will enjoy it and we can just make sure it is taken good care of.

So we shoved the box into our Golf and headed back to Jo and Aidans house. Dave got right to it building the tractor for "Matty" and all of the kids enjoyed it.

Matthew fits better in the shovel than on the seat. Ha ha ha!

Apparently, Jo and Aidans kids ask about coming over now because they know we have the tractor. They always have a good time here but now tey arevery excited about it. What can I say? one gift made 5 people happy and hopefully it will last quite a while.

Look at my happy boys after playing with their new toy:

It was definetly worth it just for that beautiful moment.

So Much Christmas!!!

To begin with, Merry late Christmas from Dave, Matty and myself. These days I have been terrible at updating my blog.

Our Chirstams tree cut down from Dave's parents yard.
It's been up since the 5th of December.

It was such a fun Christmas. We spent Christmas eve at my parents place playing games (a game called WHAT? from chapters. It was a hoot) and visiting friends. We also ate some yummy appetizers and boy was I STUFFED.

The Millar Christmas Tree

We spent the night, and the rest of the family arrived early the next morning to begin the present opening. This year we chose to pull names when buying gifts to cut down on the expenses. Each parent was to take care of gifts for the kids (still) living with them and had a persons stocking to take care of and a persons gift. My sister had my stocking and my brother had my gift. My husband spoiled me rotten and so did my mom. The name pulling didn't stop us from feeling so increadibly spoiled this year. I think it was mostly because we were all together. Like Dave and I were saying the next day, it wouldn't have mattered if we only got one gift or even none. It is being with family and having a nice, happy time with everyone. I praise God for such an amazing family.

Matty in his Christmas outfit. Sorry for the quality.

Matthew slept through most of Chritsmas morning since he woke up pretty early but we had a chance to get a few pictures of him opening his present from us.

Matty wondering what this shiny green things is
and why it is that we are putting it in his face.

We Bought him some cloth rings that make up a turtles shell.It has a mirror on the bottom.

Once gifts were done, my dad prepared the traditional Christmas breakfast (ham and eggs) and I did up the dishes. Then, it was relaxation time until Jo, Aidan, Dave and I along with all the kids went to the tobbaganing hill. Dave, Matty and I just went for a walk while the others went sledding (we hadn't thought to bring nice warm clothes). Then it was time for dinner. Roast, Yorkshire pudding, gravy, a yummy new green bean recipe my mom made, squash, roasted potatoes... so good. The men tidied up and after a bit of a break we broke out dessert.

It was my responsability to make the dessert so I made two new recipes. A peach pie with candied pecans and a chocolate truffle tort. They were both good but both had room for improvement.

Boxing day was Christmas with Dave's side of the family and it was so warm and wonderful too. It began with visiting in the van der Meer home and meeting the new neice (Brenna) and enjoying those around. Then we opened gifts slowly, each person getting their chance (nice having everyone relax and just take their time). We pulled names here as well for the first time. It was a success I think. I got a breadmaker that I am excited to use.

Again, Matty slept through most of this since he was so increadibly tired and crabby. He received some really nice gifts too (he was more spoiled than I thought he would be for his first Christmas.

Once all the gifts we opened, it was off to the Helmer's (Daves Aunt and Uncles house) for the Chritsmas dinner. Imust say YUM! as always. Candied yams, turkey, duck, stuffing, mashed potatoes, creamy vegetables, ham...salads and buns and dessert...Needless to say I over did it with the eating again but boy was it enjoyable. more gifts were received which was so sweet. I had no idea we would leave with another 5 gifts. So generous.

Uunt Angela bought one of her boys a talking Elmo and Matty was very... confused? fascinated? terrified?

Here he is talking back to Elmo... or trying to bite his nose.

It was late by the time we got home. Matty was a wreck (he had been most of the evening too) and it took us a while to get him to sleep again. Once down, I had a very good nights sleep.

Today is a very down day. Dave is home, relaxing and he helped me tidy up. Matty is getting back into the habbit of going for naps without being rocked or walked (lots of screaming later) and I finally have a moment to sit down and share this post with you.

My sister and her family will be arriving soon to spend the night with us. Can you tell we LOVE being around people? Jo and I will go do a bit of bowing day shopping and maybe find a deal or two to put away for next Christmas. Until then, I have some pictures to get uploaded and catsgorized.

Merry Christmas!

Learning...

In the recent past I have felt very far from God. Not due to anything I had done but mostly what I hadn't been doing: my devotions. I felt stuck, alone, frustrated and guilty. All the tings that should happen when one distances themselves from communion with Christ and His word. Then suddenly there was an abundance of studies and classes made available and I have become a part of many of them.

To learn is to gain knowledge and skill, to memorize and to find out.

Learning is exactly what I have been doing in my 8 studies/classes. Let me try to break it down.

A Woman of Worship: This is a womans study (obviously) that is going through several Psalms and teaching how to be a woman of worship. The book is certainly not the best part of the study. The questions are good sometimes, but other times are really basic. The best part is the leader. Her gift of teaching is very apparent. She manages to take from the questions and go much deeper. It is always through our discussions of her questions that God really teaches me. I've been reminded that God is always near, that it is we who can easily put other things in the place of God in our lives but that He never lets us go.

The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood: Here is another womans study. It occurs in Vanessa and my house but it is with the women of Vanessas church in Russell (same denomination but different place and pastor). This book has really been enjoyable. So far it has dealt with the idea of women being a help meet and how that is a covenant. We have looked at what a covenant is and it has really made being a woman a beautiful thing. In our society, it is very easy to see womanhood as something undesireable... that we should be like men, not women. It has also been able to keep me interested. I have read other books on womanhood that I have had to put down because somehow it presented its ideas in a way that has put my back up even though it's arguments were backed up by theology. I guess they have somehow managed to present ideas less beautifully... I dont know. This study is great because we have so many different women who have so many grreat things to say.

James: This is a study by John MacArthur that is going through the book of James. It is the study book that I am using to lead the youth group at my church. We have only done one study but it was really good. It dealt wit hthe idea of taking trials and making our situations triumphant. How God is there to not remove our trials but to help us through them so that we can grow. I am excited to learn and grow through this book some more.

Ephesians: Dave and I will be attending this study together most of the time. It is for young adults and we are going through the book of Ephesians together. The leader has decided not to do a really deep study of it but to do it chapter by chapter. I think either way we will be greatly blessed by this study. I missed the first one due to my other bible study (but it was just an introduction).

Sister to Sister: This is a study that is more of an accountability group. Its name is because it is a group of women who are realy close (Karin, Jo, Vanessa, Me and sometimes Katy). We get together and discuss what we have learned over the past two weeks and how we wish to apply things and then we pray together for many different things. This is a womderful time because there are no hinderances to share. When we are hurting we can openly cry and know we will receive love and guidance and prayer. It's a very warm, beautiful study that I always look forward to, even when I haven't been in the word.

Biblical Parenting: This is a Sabbath school class that Dave and I have been attending. A man from our church has had this on his heart and has put together a number of classes for us to discuss the way parents should parent according to God's word. Our manual is the bible and we have been looking at various themes and bringing it back to Gods word. The next few classes will be on discipline and I am interested to see what is discussed since there are so many different ideas about the right way to do this. (Is there a right way? I think everyone thinks there way is the right way. The biggest and most important thing to remember is that judging is up to God. People really love to judge parenting.)

Understanding Biblical Doctrine: This is another Sabbath school class that I am excited about. It is lead by two of our elders and it is somthing I know very little about formally. This does mean, however, that Dave and I will not be in the same class every other Sunday but it also allows us to talk to each other about what we've learned. It deals with how doctrine is really central to our Christian life and not just a part of it that doesnt really need to be learned. I can't wait to get into it more and more.

Kids Group: This is sometimes my responsability and sometimes others. depending on the activity that is being done, we choose an appropriate study. Last time we built treasure boxes so we discussed treasures in heaven. Kids can always teach us a lot and so I know throughout the year I will learn from them as much as they might learn from me. Plus, I love working with them. they are fun.

These are the 8 studies I am a part of and through them I am learning numerous things. unfortunately, the main thing that I seem to learn is that I have bad time management. The word of God always comes once everything else has been completed. Dishes done, Matty asleep, house cleaned, e-mails checked... If anything can be learned, its to be in the word daily and it should be priority. So, if in all of these studies I learn nothing new (which I know wont be the case), I have learned something very important.

Finally

Two ministries have been on my heart: Boys and Girls group and Youth Group.

Our church has many younger kids at this moment in time so I felt like I should try and start a ministry for them. Something where they could begin to get to know each other outside of worshsip and Sunday school class and also to make a nice transition from kids group to youth group. Others thought this was a good idea too.

When it came to beginning it, however, there was little support from many of the parents. I have two regular kids. We continue to meet every month. Why? They enjoy each others company and I wish to minister to the kids who wish to be ministered to. Really, they minister to me with their adorable comments and stories.

The youth group has had an even harder beginning. I lead it last year and we had some successful events, though commitment was lacking. Many events were cancelled. I thought that if I lowered the age I would get more people interested this year. The schedules were made and annoucements announced and the feedback was very disappointing. Eventually I had 5 people signed up for youth group and when we were ready to finally meet, I was told that three of them were busy until the new year. The lack of commitment had started again, I feared. I didnt want to give up though. It is really on my heart to have a bible study and some activities with them. So, every month I waited to get some feedback. Today, we finally succeeded in having our first meeting. Only three people were there but there are 4 others who would like to come but couldn't make it tonight due to illness, being out of town and having a hockey game to attend. I was so pleased with how it went. Our next meeting will be one of service of sorts. We will all be getting together to bake cookies to give to all the families in the church. This was one of our successful activities last year and so I hope it will be again this year.

There may be few people attending at the moment but I am happy. Lord willing they will grow and God will be pleased with us. I look forward to seeing how things develop. I'll keep you posted.