Feeling Weary

I woke up this morning and just felt sad. Not because of any given situation so much as I am tired. I want to meet this baby. I want to be out of the house or have something to do so I am not just sitting here asking Matthew ( as I have been doing several times this morning alone) to please come out.

I woke and thought I should sing a verse of a psalm I think greets the day well:

"This is the Day the Lord has made.
Let us be glad and sing.
Hosanna Lord, O give success. O Lord, Salvation bring."

I had hoped it would give my day a good beginning. Unfortunately, the tears have begun and they continue to fall.

Then, another psalm came to mind and I sang the verse that fit.

" Lord let my prayer prevail.
To answer it make speed.
My spirit quite doth fail.
Hide not thy face in need.
Lest I be like to those that do in darkness sit
or him that downward goes to share the dreadful pit."


The Lord is good to put these verses into my mind. I am so thankful that we sing Gods word in church. He plants them in my mind when I need them. I understand why we are to read and read and read scripture. This is how he speaks to us.

My tears are still coming and I am still feeling so helpless. "Lord, bring this baby today." His timing is perfect and I do have to remember that this should be a joyful time. I WILL meet my baby and not in a terribly long time. He will come into this world but he just might end up needing a little help. I'm just feeling impatient and tired and lonely during the day. I can't sit comfortably, stand comfortably, lie comfortably... even breathing is hard at times.

Ness is going to join me on an outing to the dollar store later. I just need to get out. God willing I can be distracted for the next while until God decides Matty is ready to come. I even got on my hands and knees yesterday and scrubbed the floors of my apartment in hopes that he would come. It made me contract a few times but then they subsided and he remains very cozy in his little residence.

Please pray that I can rely on God for his timing.

People look and me and say: Wow, you're ready to explode" and boy do I ever know that. I feel like I couldn't possibly grow anymore or gain any more stretch marks yet I continue to find I have fewer and fewer clothes I can put on in the morning. I am actually resorting to wearing Dave's shirts because they actually cover my big belly. Sure makes you feel beautiful ( ha!).

Anyways, off to be distracted by my best friend and her sewing projects.